Why do affirmations work?

Affirmations are just New Age Woo Woo, right?! It may seem like affirmations are too good to be true. I mean, geesh, just say a positive statement and all my dreams come true?! I don’t think so.

Do affirmations work or is it just a bunch of positive thinking hoopla?

Amazingly enough they do work and here’s why…

Affirmations, remember, are positive statements. They are positive statements that purposefully replace negative thoughts.

How does it work? Our brains love, love, love to go to worst case scenarios and in simpler times this helped us, it protected us from tigers hiding behind rocks. In today’s world our pension for negative thinking can get us into a deep hole of self-criticism, negative core beliefs, depression and worries. That simple text from a friend can be turned into a string of thoughts such as, she doesn’t like me, she’s mad at me, I’m a terrible person. Feedback at work can go from something to learn from and change to, I can’t do anything right and I’m a failure. Affirmations can help us get out of this trap of negative self-sabotage. Hey, if we can think bad things about ourselves there is no reason we can’t think something good and feel better and more confident! Personally, I am tired of my own constant self-sabotage and using affirmations has helped me to feel happier and more confident.

Affirmations replace negative thoughts and help us create new neural pathways in our brains to develop healthier ways of thinking. Our negative thoughts become habits and affirmations help create positive thought habits. I don’t know about you, but I would rather think I am capable and have gifts to share rather than, I am a failure and no good at anything. My dears, we all make mistakes and yes, they can be hard, they can be devastating even, we do not need to forever beat ourselves up over them though. Learn from your mistakes and remember what you have done well. Use affirmations to remind you of your strengths, that you are capable, you are worthy, and you do deserve to be happy. Treat yourself with kindness too.

We also carry with us core beliefs, which can be positive or negative and affirmations can help us change and heal these limiting beliefs. Negative core beliefs are limiting beliefs we usually learn in childhood or from society. These could include, I am a woman so I am weak and stupid, or I grew up poor, so I do not deserve success. Ouch, these are harsh, aren’t they? These limiting beliefs can be about who we are, our age, our gender, our occupation, our beliefs about money, our place in society, what we have been taught about our bodies, relationships and more. Recognizing these limiting beliefs and countering them with affirmations is the most challenging work you can do, but it is so worth it. Affirmations can help you change your limiting beliefs, heal them and grow. I mean, who doesn’t want to be stronger, mentally healthier and happier?! I sure do! Personally, I have worked on my limiting beliefs about being deserving and worthy of simply being alive. My affirmations for this have helped me heal my insecurity, develop my confidence and yes, cheesy as it sounds has helped me to feel happier.

So, if you are wondering if affirmations really work, hopefully this has helped a bit. They work because we are using them as a tool to retrain our brain, create new neural pathways and develop healthier thought habits. Stay tuned for my next posts where I will share how to use affirmations and most importantly how to write a good one that speaks to you.

Remember, you are amazing and you do deserve to be happy and affirmations can help manifest your best life.

Love,

Cecelia

What are affirmations?

Image pink background with text What are affirmations?

Part 1/4

Have you ever wondered what an affirmation is or what it’s supposed to be? or How could it possibly help? or How the heck do you write one anyway? or why would you even use affirmations?

In this mini series of posts those questions will be answered and more!

But first, why the heck am I so obsessed with affirmations anyway?

That is a great question. I have always liked a good affirmation. They are positive. They are hopeful. They can get your mind out of a negative spiral. Honestly, I have dabbled in them here and there when it was convenient or I just wanted to think something more positive. But it has been this past year that has me obsessed with them. So. Many. Shitty. Things. So many shitty things happened to me this past year I truly needed a mental and emotional reset and that is where affirmations have truly helped me.

Let’s see, I worked my ass off to complete my masters in counseling to start working for a company that wanted to literally run their employees into a blob of nothingness, so I quit. I found out I have 2 brain aneurysms. And to top it off I discovered a lot of crappy things about my spouse and filed for divorce. So here is what all that did to me, mentally and emotionally, it destroyed me. Negative thinking doesn’t even cover it. I was down in a deep dark hole of sadness, grief, feeling sorry for myself and thinking my brain would rupture any second and I would die. All that really messes with you.

So, I quit the job, removing myself from the toxic environment was a great step. I spent a heck of a lot of time in nature, journaling, meditating and crying (not all in nature, but pretty much everywhere). I filed for divorce, the relief was physical and emotional. I saw more doctors and learned my brain is stable, just no running or roller coasters, like I would run anyway haha. I started writing affirmations, meditating on them, writing them in my journal, repeating them when I wake and before I sleep. And wow, they work. They really work. My dark, sad, self deprecating thoughts began to shift. Light started creeping back into my brain and my life. Dare I say I am starting to feel happier and like my self again?

I am learning that affirmations are more than just a positive sentence. When they mean something to you they truly are motivating, nurturing, encouraging, inspiring and healing.

Stay tuned for more on affirmations and in my next post I will explore why do affirmations work?

Love,

CB

Peace in the present…

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

―Lao Tzu

I have a problem with this quote. As someone who has lived through difficult situations I can say, from first hand experience, that you are very much in the present and definitely not feeling peaceful when faced with stress, problems and challenges. I will talk more about this in a moment.

Let’s take a look at this quote starting at the beginning…

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.” This certainly can be true in some cases. For example our thoughts about the past, perceived mistakes and failures and even the grief of loved ones or dreams lost can leave us feeling the sadness and despair of depression. When we spiral into negative thinking, this can lead to depression. There is also depression from our brain chemistry, which has nothing to do with our past or our negative thinking. Though negative thinking and ruminating on our past do tend to make depression worse if your brain is chemically prone to it. So, if you read this quote and get a knot in your stomach like I did, there is nothing wrong with you, you just intuitively know that it is not necessarily true and does not tell the whole story of depression.

“If you are anxious you are living in the future.” This I can agree with to a certain extent. Anxiety is triggered by those ‘what if’ thoughts, worries and the unknown of the future. Anxiety can also be triggered by memories of traumatic past experiences flooding our nervous system with fight or flight reactions without our conscious consent. We have to keep in mind that Lao Tzu lived in a time that did not have the scientific knowledge of the brain and mental health as we do now. So just as depression isn’t necessarily just us stuck in the past, anxiety isn’t always our worries about the future.

Now let’s take a closer look at the last part of this quote.

“If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

This one really makes me go um yeah right, were you just diagnosed with a brain aneurysm? Is your dog peeing blood right now? Are you sitting in the hospital with your mom? Are you stuck in a toxic job that is sucking out your soul. Not so peaceful in this present moment is it?

So, I think we can agree that the present moment can be not so peaceful. In these moments of struggle how do we manage, how do we find peace? Mindfulness can help us through it. Self care. Creativity. Journaling. Affirmations. Meditation. Listening to positive, peaceful music. Nature. Our pets. Our family. Our friends. A great therapist or life coach. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling in the difficult moments, recognized that it is painful, you are hurt, or worried or scared, or just plain sad. Recognizing and being aware of your feelings in the moment is an amazing mindfulness skill. It’s not fun but by being aware and recognizing your feelings you can help yourself through it, without it turning into depression and anxiety.

Ok, you are thinking, so I recognize that this situation sucks and I am sad and angry, now what?!

This is where you use those skills that you know bring you to a calmer more peaceful space.

Journaling, talking to a support person, walking, play with your pets, making art or music, meditating, breathing into it, listening to peaceful, calming music. Take a moment and think about what calms you? Write it down. Call it your, Ways I can Feel Calmer in Crappy Situations, list. Have it in front of you as a reminder that yeah, life is hard sometimes but there are ways that can help me feel calmer and more peaceful in this difficult moment. So, maybe Lao Tzu was onto something after all. Living in the present may not always be peaceful but we can mindfully take action to help ourselves find more peace and calm in the here and now.

Image of examples of ways to feel calm in stressful situations.